March Meditation HERE
It might be boastful to call it “The Social Event of the Year” but frankly it was.
That is, Vlad’s birthday party celebration this past Sunday.
Our favorite hipster coffee shop/micro-brewery (only in Bushwick!) volunteered to host it for him, and when the guests soared to over a dozen pups, they opened up their backroom space.
Essentially, it was a Puppy Warehouse Rave.
The above picture, of Vlad & his best friend Malibu, was taken the day after the party.
It’s NOT their entrance moment, however.
You see when they entered on the Monday after the party, they both immediately headed towards the backroom.
Basically, they were now “in the know” and wanted access to the Puppy Speakeasy they assumed was still going on.
In fact, every day this week there’s been a gentle tug or two to return to the excitement of the canine gathering.
Given that my theme this month is The Power of Ritual––new meditation HERE––it’s fitting that their eagerness demonstrates how easily we can weave in good (or bad) habits into our lives.
As always, these guys are totally on point.
I’ve also been rereading James Clear’s terrific Atomic Habits, focusing in on what make a ritual powerful and lasting.
He posits that four qualities most effectively allow us to establish positive habits.
One of those is simply to Make Things Easy.
That concept seems a perfectly lovely place to start this exploration, especially considering the increased complexity (if not insanity) of our schedules in modern life.
Earlier in adulthood, I struggled to establish a consistent habit of practicing the piano.
In decades past, I’d have describe my playing as both very accomplished and also very rusty.
Playing the piano was something deeply connected to my soul while simultaneously something that would almost always end up as collateral damage on my to do list.
It was thefirst casualty reluctantly abandoned during the battlewhen the going got tough.
Even if I had a few free hours available, sitting down for a lengthy practice session felt like yet another task on my to-do list, one for which I was neither accountable nor compensated.
Indeed, maintaining a steady practice was perpetually on my list of sincere New Year’s resolutions, unfortunately among the ones that would never be realized.
Somehow though, I found a way that worked.
Ironically, it was by creating a ritual of doing a lot LESS that I accomplished so much MORE.
I’m sure many of you have heard of the Pomodoro Technique whereby one engages in focused work with a timer for 25 minutes followed by a 5 minute break.
Ideally, you repeat such a session 3 or more times.
I, however, found myself rebelling at even 25 minutes of steady practice, engaging in an inner rant of all the other more pressing tasks I had to accomplish.
Like any good hostage negotiator, though, I found a solution that worked.
I settled on my own ideal time period of 13 minutes (basically a little more than half a Pomodoro), as the amount of time I could commit to on a daily basis without triggering overwhelm.
For reasons known only to my subconscious, thirteen minutes isn’t enough to rile up my Inner Scheduling Police, and yet it’s also enough where I can actually get something done musically.
A Brahms Intermezzo and a slow movement from a Mozart sonata, for example.
It’s both sustainable and substantial, manageable yet meaningful.
Ultimately, what’s powerful is not the amount of time I’m spending so much as the consistency with which I’ve done it.
Indeed, It’s been over five years now of this 13-minute practice and honestly––like brushing my teeth––I haven’t once missed a day.
Another key advantage of making a ritual easy consists of how we define it.
The focus of any ritual should be on its starting point, not the end result.
Consider the daily routine of Twyla Tharp, the renowned choreographer, and her daily gym workout.
Getting up every morning at 5:30, she puts on her workout outfit and then hails a taxi for the gym.
Twyla testifies that it’s not the two hours she spends at the gym that’s the all-important part of the ritual.
“The ritual is the cab,” Twyla clarifies, and it’s completed the moment she tells the driver where to go.
As Clear writes, “Habits are like the entrance ramp to a highway.”
They get us on the path, in other words, and then the rest is (more or less) easy, or at least do-able.
Although my minimum at the keyboard is 13 minutes a day, most often when my apple watch timer starts buzzing, I silence it and continue a little longer, completing whatever piece I’m playing.
Sometimes, if I’m enjoying being in the music zone, I’ll stay considerably longer.
As Clear writes:
“The more ritualized the beginning of a process, the more likely it becomes that you can slip into the state of deep focus that is required to do great things.”
For me, however, what’s all-important is that I’ve completed a focused 13 minutes.
Anything beyond that is Extra Credit, which as a compulsively Good Student I of course love, but also know isn’t absolutely necessary.
Indeed, like most things in life, the trick is simply to show up and then keep showing up.
I’m not sure how much longer Vlad and Malibu will be yearning for the Backroom Party Scene.
Their social calendars are already quite full, plus they know there’s already a guaranteed treat at the counter waiting for them.
More importantly, this week of tugging serves a delightful reminder of how making something easy and accessible is a cornerstone for creating any lasting ritual.
Stack one habit on top of another that you already have, for example, like adding flossing to your dental routine.
Definitely redefine your ritual so that it’s completed the moment you make the key decision, whether that’s requesting an Uber or opening up that unfinished manuscript on your laptop.
Finally, consider as I did, setting your timer for whatever amount of time you can spare on a daily basis without giving yourself (or your schedule) additional angst.
Make your ritual easy in other words, in order to make it lasting.
And by making it lasting, however deceptively simple it seems, you make it powerful.
Namaste for Now,
