Marginally less vacuuming.
Honestly, that’s been the only silver lining I can think of regarding Malibu (Vlad’s best friend)’s absence this week.
Mind you, nothing untoward has happened.
Bobby and Neb, his parents, have gone on a family getaway to the Caribbean, which means Malibu is staying with their relatives.
Thus, our almost nightly visit from Malibu––perhaps Vlad and my favorite RITUAL (the theme this month, with new meditation HERE)––has been put on hold.
There is, however, in sight a reunion which I’m sure will be quite glorious.
Malibu has made a promise to appear at Vlad’s birthday party which––depending on when you’re reading this––is today, Sunday March 3rd.
You are also definitely invited.
Based on popular demand, we’ve set up a Zoom webinar link HERE for 3-5pm EST.
Although I can’t promise you a cupcake, no RSVP is required.
No gifts please, but if you’re so inspired, there’s a link on the page for one of Vlad’s favorite pet charities.
(Trust me, Vlad’s graveyard of chewed-through toys could fill a small storage facility.)
The Power of Ritual HERE has been on my mind for several reasons, not the least of which is that I led a corporate workshop about it this week.
(This might even grow into a mini-course…please stay tuned).
Certainly, the topic’s been on my mind while party-planning for Vlad, since birthday celebrations––whether joyous or dreaded––can be so richly provocative.
In these newsletters, I’ve often shared my own birthday ritual, something I began in 2006 and have––with minor variations––continued with for almost every year since.
Specifically, I mark the occasion with an admittedly challenging, even extreme yoga practice where from standing, I fall back into a wheel and then spring back up again.
I repeat this once for each year of my life.
I’ve written an award-winning essay about it, incorporated into visual art pieces.
One of them even made it into The New York Times’ Great Home section.
I’ll save more for another day but I feel inspired to include Vlad’s blithe indifference to my birthday yoga ritual from two years ago.
In the workshop this week, I shared how for me what distinguishes a ritual from a mere routinewas incorporating an element of elevation, of consciously lifting the experience upward.
It’s saying Grace before a meal, for example, or chanting OM before a yoga class.
Something that could be quite ordinary suddenly takes on more meaning.
Frankly, a declaration of intention can be used to make almost any experience more significant, even more effective.
I read a book about speed reading recently and of all the practical techniques––looking for clusters of meaning, making sure you’re not subvocalizing––the simplest by far was to state your intention before beginning.
An explicit reminder of why you’re doing what you’re doing paves the way not only for a smoother journey, but also one where you retain knowledge more effortlessly.
It’s an echo of Ram Das’ famous line “Be Here Now,” empowering us via a vocalized check-in with the present moment.
Remembering our “Why” by stating our intention takes us out of autopilot.
Sometimes, it might even serve as a Cosmic Course-Correct.
Although they are hugely ritualized, Malibu and Vlad’s hangouts are never formally scheduled.
Instead, most nights, somewhere between 7:30 and 9pm, I’ll get a text from Bobby saying that Malibu is nudging him towards a visit.
There might even be a cute video as well or a photo with a particularly plaintive puppy gaze.
I leave the door ajar, Vlad rushes to watch it, and In moments, living just down the hall on our same floor, they arrive.
Vlad more or less ambushes Malibu who prefers to enter casually and first checks if Vlad has left any food behind from dinner.
As Malibu explores the other rooms, Vlad rushes to his toy chest to grab something to show Bobby and play tug of war with him.
During all this, Bobby and I check in about our day for a bit and then he departs, either going to the gym or finishing up some work.
And, for the next hour or two, Vlad and Malibu carry out all their favorite games and rituals, running the gamut of playful face-biting to chill brotherly cuddling.
All week long, I’ve been exploring this idea of elevating routine into ritual by adding the element of intention.
It can be as subtle as reminding yourself of the goal before a meeting (or a loaded conversation), but that can be profoundly effective in directing where those lead.
My favorite application, however, has definitely been with my morning practice of doing all the puzzles in The New York Times.
Completing them is already its own ritual––some might say obsession––but I’ve been trying to actively view them as a set of encouraging metaphors for the day.
With the mini puzzle which I try to do in under 60 seconds, it’s an affirmation about finding speedy solutions.
With the Spelling Bee, it’s about the abundance of possibilities for correct answers, and trusting you can find them all if you keep creatively exploring.
And with Wordle and Connections and the regular puzzle, it’s about the power of good detective work, of knowing that there is a single correct answer, or combination, or pattern that are discoverable if you persist.
For me, on a linguistic level, it’s proof that there’s an order to the universe, and through such rituals, a greater fluency to its wisdom is openly available to us.
All you have to do is keep showing up…and declaring your intention…andthe mystery might reveal itself.
Alas, I must end this newsletter because although I have ordered Vlad’s canine cake from Maizon de Pawz All Natural Dog Treats, I’m baking the human cupcakes myself.
Fittingly, I have a favorite final insight around the ritual of baking.
I’m always struck by how at no point whatsoever in the process do your efforts remotely resemble the final result.
At each stage––raw ingredients on the counter; a soupy bowl of batter; a slowly rising concoction that could easily collapse if disturbed––without relying on past experience, it’s impossible to believe that a cake will be the final conclusion of your efforts.
Yet each time, without fail, by following the recipe it works.
Rituals function in the same way, guiding us through the messy middle of things, giving us a structure that creates the result we want, adding abundant meaning along the way.
They make the journey not only possible but also worthwhile.
That’s why I really hope you pop by for Vlad’s party this Sunday HERE for a celebration of heartfelt puppy chaos, allowing us to share in this ritual together, perhaps even creating some meaning along the way.
Namaste for Now.
