I admit that I was tempted for a moment.
Yet, since it felt a little disloyal, I sailed right past the opportunity.
Last Friday, after leaving a small funeral service for one of my mother’s friends, I stopped by the library to pick up a few books I had on reserve.
Since it was directly on the way home, the impulse arose to stop by our local coffee shop and bakery for a cappuccino moment.
Instead, eager to get back home to Vlad, I shrugged it off and drove past — completely missing my opportunity to meet Martha Stewart.
Although this particular coffee shop and roastery is quite charming, it’s not really on anyone’s celebrity wavelength.
It’s in Connecticut, mind you, not LA or Soho.
In fact, I only learned of her appearance from the owner’s Instagram post when checking social media that afternoon.
And, at the same time, I also saw a story that a really important friend had posted for the first time.
They had been scheduled to attend a meeting in the North Tower on September 11th, but somehow had a weird feeling about it and they decided not to go.
This was completely out of character for them, but that intuitive impulse ended up saving their life.
So many of our decisions may seem almost arbitrary, with no sense of the weighty — or in the case of Martha and my near-miss, whimsical — consequences that may result.
Perhaps that’s why connecting with our Future Self (meditation HERE) can be so invaluable.
I was also reminded yesterday of my very favorite ‘near miss’ story, since it was officially Vlad’s Gotcha Day.
Running down the stairwell in my apartment building to jump rope in one of the alcoves, I bumped into Charlie and his puppy Dua heading in the other direction.
We’d only chatted in passing a couple of times, but knowing that I’d lost Belle earlier that year, Charlie told me that one of Dua’s siblings had been returned to the animal rescue center and was available.
Even though they thought it was probably a mistake given their small apartment, Charlie and his wife were flirting with a second dog and had made an adoption appointment for the next day.
Realizing that it would be better for everyone if I adopted Dua’s sibling instead, Charlie not only offered me the appointment but also volunteered to drive me.
I’ve written more about that fateful day before but what’s always struck me is how — given that we didn’t have each other’s phone numbers — none of it would have happened if our paths hadn’t crossed that morning.
A few minutes earlier or later down the stairwell and Vlad might never have come to brighten my life.
Vlad’s First Photo Op! I mean … come on!!!!
The passing of Annie Dillard was another literary loss this week.
I’ve always been struck by one passage of hers in particular, something that’s as true for writing as it is for anything worth sharing in life.
“One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. Similarly, the impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.”
That desire to hold on also assumes that there will be endless future opportunitiesto give.
As life goes on, if we’re wise, the illusion of that guarantee vanishes more and more over time.
Now is always the best time to offer everything fully.
Since I’m launching so many projects now — two of which require investors and other strategic partners — I’ve always taken comfort in Rumi’s line:
“What you seek is seeking you.”
That certainly takes a load of pressure off.
There’s also another beautiful line often attributed to another Sufi, Imam al-Ghazali:
“What is meant for you will reach you
even if it is beneath two mountains.”
It usually continues with this caveat:
“And what is not meant for you will not reach you even if it is between your two lips.”
I did have a moment of regret this week.
Only after I taught the first lesson in the new course did I realize what I wish I’d titled it:
The Neuroscience of Getting Unstuck
Beyond this, though, I loved teaching the first lesson, one which included several journaling moments where I also learned new things about old stories I keep telling myself.
If you’re curious — heeding Annie Dillard’s advice to ‘give it now’ — I’ve uploaded a 9-minute section of it focusing on just that.
Although I’ve had more than my fair share of celebrity encounters, I admit it would have been more than a little odd to suddenly notice last Friday that Martha Stewart was randomly standing in front of me in line.
The visit itself was also apparently a complete surprise to the shop itself.
Only later were all the pieces put together.
In town to film a commercial for Ace Hardware, the crew took their lunch break locally.
Completely true to form, Martha asked about getting the shop’s gluten-free, vegan doughnut recipe.
And I can’t tell if they’re joking or not, but according to a recent post they may be renaming one of their sandwiches in her honor.
Benjamin Hardy writes in Be Your Future Self Now:
“The more connected you are to your longer-term Future Self,
the better and wiser your decisions today.”
Sometimes that guidance might even save your life, as it did for my friend.
Other times, it might lead you down the stairwell at the exact right momenttowards puppy bliss … or steer you away from a celebrity encounter which might have been an amusing distraction.
Ultimately, I suppose we have to trust that, as Rumi’s line reminds us, what we’re seeking is seeking us, and, as the other Sufi saying promises, it will reach us even if two mountains are in the way.
Personally, I find that promise as comforting as a gluten-free, vegan doughnut — even if I never get the recipe.
Tell A New Story. Transform Your Life.