It’s hard to believe I began this tradition in 2007, something that feels like several lifetimes ago.
Since then it’s taken place all across this hemisphere, from NYC’s Lower East Side to its Upper West, from Los Angeles to Florida, from San Francisco to Seattle, and now to hipster Bushwick.
It’s also inspired a lot of my visual art, including several pieces that have made their way into various gallery shows.
My chocolate lab Belle even made her way into a few of the photoshoots and now Vlad’s also been invited (see below).
I’m talking about my annual birthday dropback ritual, one where I stand and fall backward into a wheel and spring back up again, once for every year of my life.
Since I’ve shared this ritual often, by far the most frequent question I was asked this past week is whether or not I continued it.
Or whether––in the spirit of this month’s theme of Freedom (new meditation HERE)––I decided to let it go.
Please allow me to expand…
(last year’s photo, the first year Vlad & I have been together).
I wrote last week about how having too much freedom, one that yields too many options, can easily lead to overwhelm, to Decision Paralysis.
Indeed, paradoxically, telling someone your schedule is wide open makes it nearly impossible to plan anything.
Too many choices make everything NOT easier but a lot more difficult.
Decision Fatigue is a very real phenomenon.
In fact, a fascinating study reveals that if you’re ever up before a parole board, it’s significantly better to have your case heard first thing in the morning or right after a food break.
That’s because the statistics overwhelmingly demonstrate that the longer judges have been deliberating, the more likely they are to deny your appeal.
In other words, the freshest audience is always best, particularly if your goal is to regain your freedom.
Since it was the kickoff for my birthday week, I almost themed the Seva Workshop (photos HERE) around dropbacks, even contemplating doing them then and there.
In the end it felt too specialized and not right for a broad spectrum audience of consistent yoga practitioners and total newcomers.
I have, however, loved teaching that kind of workshop in the past.
It always culminates in my assisting each and every student in a dropback.
By supporting them completely, I can make what’s genuinely scary done solo relatively easy and attainable when fully assisted.
Even so, nearly every time there are those willing and trusting students who, just as I lean them backward for their descent, grab on to my bicep for additional support, thereby preventing the entire experience from happening.
The full freedom of falling backwards and trusting they’ll be safe is simply too overwhelming, too big a leap.
Fear kicks in and without thinking they instinctively pull the Emergency Brake on the moment.
Having done that in numerous other areas in my own life, I am entirely sympathetic.
Usually, a few reassuring words is all it take to get them (on the second or third attempt) to trust enough to stop holding on to me.
Just like in real life,it’s only when we fully let go that the magic can happen.
Assisting a brave student in a 2017 Exhale workshop.
Speaking of which…how would you define “absolute freedom?”
I read an interesting article which used scientific studies to describe it as the realization that you’re not really on anyone else’s mind.
Neuroscience now proves what Helen Fielding, the author of the Bridget Jones’s Diary, stated:
“No one is thinking about you.
They’re thinking about themselves, just like you.”
(If you want or need to get super-nerdy about it all, the study is called “Why People Are Always Thinking about Themselves” withthe very catchy subtitle: Medial Prefrontal Cortex Activity during Rest Primes Self-referential Processing HERE.).
Given that tigers really aren’t chasing us (most of the time), it turns out that the major cause of our anxiety is often fear of the opinions of other people.
It’s the ultimate irony that this is so entirely misplaced, since science proves people are hardwired to mostly be thinking about themselves.
I’m not sure I’d define that realization as “Absolute Freedom” but I do think that living one’s life fully embracing that truth seems enormously liberating indeed.
I have lots more to say on the topic of Freedom for next week––particularly as I’m contemplating all the implications of Dave Brubek’s quote that:
“Jazz is about
Freedom within Discipline.”
But for now let me just complete things by answering the question about the birthday dropback ritual.
This year I felt the freedom to slide it on my schedule to a little later this summer, including it as part of another pre-planned August photo shoot for a bigger project.
I’m also no longer as attached to the exact number of them, knowing that some years (as below) I’ve done many more than my (chronological) age just to get the right shot at exactly the right moment.
Given that I’m committed to prioritizing my own freedom as much as possible, rescheduling was a very easy decision to make.
And just FYI, I’m also feeling emboldened to skip a year or even retire the practice as well.
I’m increasingly aware that when it comes to letting myself off the hook at my own parole hearings, I’m by far the harshest judge––perhaps you are, too––and I really want to change that.
Consider it the equivalent of scheduling your appeal first thing in the morning to realize that:
#1: Especially when it’s scary––(as with dropbacks)––you really have to let go…
And…
#2: Given that no one’s really thinking about you that much––and certainly not nearly as much as you probably imagine––released from that delusion, you’ve jettisoned one mighty psychological weight, onethat can no longer hold you back.
Ultimately, I hope all of this helps you realize that––despite self-argument to the contrary––you already are, in fact, Absolutely Free.
I invite us to celebrate that together…
Namaste For Now,
