Awoke on Friday morning to AWESOME news: five canvases of mine that I love that had been missing for months are being returned to me.
For many reasons, I will not reveal the entire drama around all this — and I honestly don’t care anymore, I’m just relieved and utterly thrilled my art is returning to me.
Inspired, I taught a particularly wild, free, (ie slightly unorthodox), joyful class at the Lotus focused on dropping back (the subject of the paintings and, in case you haven’t seen it, the video on the homepage of this site.)
I think this was my favorite class thus far for lots of reasons, including that it was exceptionally playful and that there were several exciting student breakthroughs. Basically, I was just in such an amazing mood to know the art was finding its way back to me that it completely spilled over into the physical practice.
I followed this with a WONDERFUL 2 hour+ massage from Robert Ryan, a masseur highly recommended by Val and Natalie. Robert is also a multi-faceted artist who seems mostly focused on his MUSIC these days –– although come to think of it, he didn’t play any music at all during the massage. (That may have been because he asked me before if he spontaneously felt mid-massage that any chants or prayers would be helpful to me, would it be OK if he intoned them. I, for one, have been seeking a good exorcist for years, so the answer was a resounding YES.)
We chatted a bit before he started about health issues/concerns and I told him how I had a “lucky body” — no injuries, no illnesses, nothing ever goes wrong. High-end flexibility and strength. The only thing I have — besides a little tension here and there + the desire for stress relief and pleasure — is that I want to start my fitness regime again, mostly to lose some pounds before the talk show circuit stuff starts really happening.
He echoed a similar thought about himself, namely that we feel totally great but just think we should kick up our appearance a few notches (in his case for stage stuff). It occurred to us both that we’re, more or less, basically doing this for other people in the audience, and while that’s not a bad thing, it’s more our motivation than health or feeling good.
On the first cruise of this year, somewhere between New Zealand and Australia, this alien couple (and I’m not kidding, I’m 100% sure they were not human or earth-born) looked at my book jacket for UPWARD DOG and commented. “Is that really you? You look so much older now and you’ve gained so much weight.”
Now, the photo was about a year and a half old, and I had gained some weight since the shoot but it’s not like I was entirely unrecognizable.
Yes –– as non-humans they didn’t understand that this might be considered a little, well, rude (OK, make that TOTALLY rude) — but from a L.O.A. P.O.V, I realized I was manifesting the worst negative things I thought someone might say because I had been thinking about them.
Post Massage, I went home feeling great and watched the entire second season of BORED TO DEATH where I felt my motivations for my fitness crusade further clarified.
There’s one moment where Zach Galifianakis’ character is trying to break up with Kristen Wiig and he reverses the cliche and says what he actually means: “It’s not me, it’s you.”
Somehow, I found that very freeing.
It’s OK that I’m doing something mostly to secure the approval of others rather than some motivation of inner peace and serenity.
It’s totally fine that I’m going to start jumping rope and/or jumping jacks and/or doing burpees (which I keep calling “burkas”) simply because I think a more slender author can better combat the proverbial ten pounds that wicked camera adds.
And while I don’t know if there’s an established correlation between book sales and body fat percentages, I’d put money down that leaner = better across the board.
Yes, I’m not beginning my newy fitness program for ME, World.
I’m doing it for YOU (including all the blunt aliens hanging around cocktail lounges in cruise ships.)
And thus, I’m fully expecting that everyone will, in fact SHOULD, be very, VERY appreciative of my ensuing transformation.
Remember, none of this is for or about me. It’s all about YOU.
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