I recently reported that although my new optometrist told me my prescription had changed, she neglected to say that vision in one eye had actually improved.
She did, however, also set up an appointment with a retina specialist.
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She told me it was probably nothing, basically a “freckle” in the back of my eye, one that apparently they’ve been monitoring for over a decade.
Apparently, this freckle phenomenon is common—a harmless pigmented spot that usually forms in the choroid, the layer of blood vessels beneath the retina.
The appointment with the specialist was unremarkable, except for the fact that I found the dilation process particularly disorienting.
(In retrospect, pairing the visit with the fluorescent glare and 5 p.m. bustle of Trader Joe’s—a five-minute walk from the doctor’s office—may have been a major miscalculation on my part.)
What was perhaps more comical and puzzling, however, was the quasi–“who’s on first” conversation that followed.
Since the theme this month is A Fresh Start (January meditation HERE), one thing I’ve been exploring is how essential a shift in perspective is for any new beginning.
My favorite physical embodiment of this is in the simplicity of going upside down in a yoga practice.
Headstand, handstand, forearmstand—these poses have always been among my favorites.
There are proven scientifically documented benefits—improved circulation, lymphatic drainage, strength and flexibility, spinal decompression, increased blood flow to the brain—as well as more energetic ones.
Going upside down can be physically and psychologically invigorating.
The practice can build confidence, and might even activate the crown and throat chakras (if you believe in that sort of thing.)
Yet once the dilation faded away and my computer screen was again in focus, I couldn’t help but wonder if an excess of it might be too provocative for my retinaand its mysterious freckles.
Since I use a headstand bench which dramatically reduces stress on the neck and shoulders, lately I’ve been doing a daily headstand practice of 11 minutes.
Curious, I emailed the retina specialist, explaining that my cursory research was inconclusive about the effects of inversions on the retina, especially for this duration.
The office’s nurse practitioner—the one who dilated my eyes in the first place—promptly called me back and relayed the doctor’s advice that “inversions should be totally fine in moderation.”
He was, however, quite stumped when I asked him exactly what that meant.
He had no answer for what an appropriate amount of time was for going upside down.
Apparently, it wasn’t a question anyone had ever asked before.
(I’ve always loved this photo since it clearly proves that not everyone is impressed with my inversion skills)
Before we go any further, even with my dilated eyes, I made my way home from Trader Joe’s to attend my friend Kari’s book launch party.
It was a hipster extravaganza, complete with exotic dancers and stripper poles.
Her book is truly wonderful.
The caption from the New York Times rave HERE summarizes it well:
“In You’ll Never Believe Me,
Kari Ferrell details going from internet notoriety
to self-knowledge in a captivating, sharp and very funny memoir.”
She’s even featured on the cover of today’s Times book review.
Let me lift a little from the jacket copy:
Before Anna Delvey, before the Tinder Swindler, there was Kari Ferrell.
Adopted at a young age by a Mormon family in Utah, Kari struggled with questions of self-worth and identity as one of the few Asian Americans in her insulated community, leading her to run with the “bad crowd” in an effort to fit in.
Soon, stealing from superstores turned into picking up men (and picking their pockets), and before she knew it, Kari had graduated from petty theft to Utah’s most wanted list.Though Kari was able to escape the Southwest, she couldn’t outrun her new moniker: the Hipster Grifter.
A heartfelt narrative of redemption and reconciliation as Kari eventually dedicates her life to activism, social justice, and setting the record straight, this memoir … grapples with truth, why we lie, and what it means when our pasts don’t paint the whole picture.”
I’m only 1/3 the way through the book—it’s a minor miracle I put it down to write this newsletter—but I felt compelled to share because
- I think Kari and her book are both terrific and
- On so many levels, the book is not only about things going completely topsy-turvy, it’s also about the power and possibility of a Fresh Start.
As you can see, years ago my chocolate lab Belle was also utterly unimpressed with my skills.
If I’m being honest, going upside can also be a little boring for eleven minutes.
Fortunately, I found my own quirky hack.
Although in recent years I’ve had moments of almost compulsive CNN watching, I long ago realized that it’s largely not been a boon for my mental health.
Indeed, no matter where you stand, the entire world often feels upside down lately.
(And although I am at least a season behind in Stranger Things, the parallel universe of the Upside Down seems increasingly relevant.)
Thus, while it’s not something I learned from teacher training or certainly Light on Yoga, I now enjoy watching Comedy Central’s Daily Show while in my headstand.
In some ways, it’s my version of a cosmic double-negative:
Watching a satirical take
on a world gone mad while upside down
might be the best way to flip things back around.
I’m sure I’ll have more to share about Kari’s book next week but I also wanted to offer something else as well (mostly just for fun).
It’s connected, perhaps only loosely, in that it’s about a delightful first meeting—the joy of a different kind of Fresh Start.
In this case it’s Vlad, with his friend Sushi, meeting young Jack at our favorite hipster coffee shop, the site of Vlad’s birthday party last year.
This is only a 23-second clip, but honestly, all three couldn’t get enough of each other.
Most importantly, even if it’s only for a minute or two, returning upright makes the world look and feel different.
Perhaps it’s merely the rush of blood to my brain but I think it’s something more than that.
I’m still back and forth with my eye doctors about defining what “a moderate amount of time” upside down actually means, but I know for sure that shifting your perspective, even for just a few moments, helps you return to a clarity you might otherwise have lost.
I often recall T.S. Eliot’s lines that
“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”
I’m finding that in lots of ways, whether it’s in memoirs of friends who’ve turned their lives around, or simply trying to look at my troubles with fresh eyes, the shift is everything.
I keep reminding myself that a Fresh Start is always possible—and sometimes flipping things upside down is exactly what’s necessary to achieve it.
Namaste for Now,
