Usually, when I leave Vlad at home and head out for something less dog-friendly—whether it’s live theater or a posh restaurant—I feel a twinge of guilt.
Vlad’s mastered a look that telegraphs, “Yes, leave me behind if you must but know that I would never do that to you.”
Last Saturday, however, after finishing the newsletter, I felt better about leaving, hoping that fewer interruptions from me puttering around the apartment and disrupting his medicated sleep would aid Vlad’s recovery.
Leaving the hipster graffiti of Bushwick, I headed to Hamilton Heights, famous for its historic brownstones, tree-lined streets, and proximity to the Harlem River, for a new client’s holiday party.
And yet, although my host had somewhat prepared me, I was still quite surprised by what I found.
Although the brownstone was built in the 1920s, since the host is an aerospace guy, most of the tech feels like it’s from two years in the future.
Beyond this, with two sons (early and pre-teen), the basement (pictured above) boasts a year-round set up of about a dozen stations of video games, pinball machines, and even karaoke.
My client’s goal was to make their home “the cool hangout” so that his kids would always have a safe space.
Even though I spent most of my time on the upper floors mingling with the adults, it’s obvious he’s succeeded phenomenally.
That was not, however, my main takeaway from the party.
More on that in a minute.
I’m writing this mere hours before the Winter Solstice.
Given that my life centers around the Transformation Universe, I’ve had numerous conversations with friends and colleagues about this annual moment where we experience the shortest day and the longest night of the year.
Particularly as we go deeper into exploring the value and power of the Shadow, there’s so much to be learned from this moment.
I’m reminded of an amazing short poem by Wendell Berry:
To Know the Dark
To go in the dark with a light is to know the light.
To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.
As in Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Berry echoes the wisdom that to really know the dark we can’t secretly be pocketing a flashlight.
The value of what’s in the dark, often in that Jungian shadow-realm, is immense.
Indeed, as one of my go-to sources of wisdom Mary Oliver writes:
The Uses of Sorrow
(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)
Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darknessIt took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.
Speaking of such gifts…
Several people wrote to me this week about wanting to gift my new course, Move Into Magic.
So we made gifting an option at check-out.
(You get to choose when the recipient gets notified).
Several other people wrote to me asking about payment plans for the 1:1 coaching options.
So we added those as well.
Most importantly, I want to remind you that the gift of savings—the Early Bird special—ends this Sunday the 22nd at midnight.
So if you’re inspired to gift anyone—especially yourself—Move Into Magic, now’s the time.
Again, here’s the summary what we’ll explore in those January weeks:
Week One: CLEARING
Releasing what no longer serves you, creating room for the magic you desire.
Week Two: EMBRACING WAITING
Trusting the timing of your journey and letting things unfold naturally.
Week Three: WELCOMING MAGIC
Designing rituals that align with your intentions and call in possibilities.
Week Four: EXPLORING
Stepping into the unknown with confidence.
Lifetimes ago, I spent an interesting few months in NYC as an associate producer on a Japanese TV series, one that aired internationally in 72 countries.
Most of the original footage was from a previous Japanese program about oddities and quirky phenomenon, repurposed with humorous narration.
I bring this up because of the title of the program: Tilt 23 1/2.
The producers chose this title because 23 1/2° is the standard tilt for the earth’s axis, the reason why we have both today’s solstice and the seasons.
Mercury, on the other hand, has a tilt of 0.03° since its axis is nearly perpendicular to its orbital plane.
At the other extreme, Uranus, with a tilt 97.8°, has the most extreme angle of any planet, as it rotates on its side.
This causes unusual seasons, with each pole experiencing 42 years of continuous sunlight followed by 42 years of darkness.
On Uranus—which has nine inner rings and two outer ones—clearly we’re in Game of Thrones’ “Long Night” territory.
In the light this, our quirky tilt of 23 1/2° seems like a real bargain.
Here was my biggest takeaway from my client’s party.
It’s been a long time since I was at event so densely populated with grade-schoolers and tweens.
What struck me most was how often these kids bumped into me.
Mind you, I’d ridden the subway to get to the party, so I was fresh from occasional jostling and intruding into someone else’s personal space.
What was so interesting, however, was the utter absence of regret or explanation.
Each and every ten year-old had a party room agenda, and bumping into me on their journey to the next arcade game was just the cost of doing business.
At first, I found it slightly odd, even unnerving.
Soon, though, I found being in the mixed stream of a kids’ and adults’ party, where minor collisions were a given and no apologies were necessary, absolutely refreshing.
Like the gift of darkness, once you accept it, there’s something empowering about knowing you’re going to be jostled with no apology forthcoming.
Paradoxically, it may be the most mature perspective you could ever have on life.
Perhaps I should have opened with this but I want to sincerely thank everyone for all the kind responses and good thoughts for Vlad’s recovery.
Today is Day 10 of near total bedrest for him.
I’m delighted to report that, although untested by exertion, his recovery seems triumphant.
It’s important to remember that these things, however, are incremental.
Indeed, I asked ChatGPT exactly how much more daylight we’ll enjoy today than the day before.
The answer was imprecise but essentially under a minute.
Bear in mind that at my NYC latitude of 40° (the same as Madrid), that the shortest day of the year is 9 hours while the longest is 15.
Among all these other gifts, it’s worth remembering that in under a minute a day,somehow that shift towards the light always happens.
I know I’m not alone in sharing that these days the whole world often seems a little more tilted than its usual 23 1/2°.
Even so, despite when things seem to have gone darkest and we’re jostled by life without any hope for an apology, we can find amazing gifts there, too.
I hope you join me in discovering more of that magic HERE.
