Really loved doing this interview with DailyOM Founder Madisyn Taylor.
Madisyn Taylor: Hello Edward, thank you for talking with me today. Let’s get right into it–why do we need a financial detox?
Edward Vilga: We need a financial detox for the same reason we need any kind of detox. Somehow we’ve gone unconscious in our financial awareness and have developed habits that are just not serving us, that are just not supporting the lives we want to live. When we detox from anything–like alcohol or junk food–we’ve made a bold and powerful decision that we’re going to eliminate the negative things we know are holding us back and develop new and better habits. With a financial detox, that decision may range from no longer ignoring our credit card debt to exploring savings and investment programs banks offer. It might involve looking at how much we really spend on impulse purchases, or cleaning up some subconscious negative beliefs we have around money that have been influencing way too many of our decisions.
Given the speed and complexity of modern lives, our financial affairs can easily become cloudy and unfocused. When we’re rapidly swiping credit cards or using Apple Pay, it’s often hard to realize how much we’re really spending. Or we can be so busy getting through our day-to-day challenges that we never really make a financial plan for the future.
There are so many reasons we “toxify” ourselves in the first place. It might be from old habits or lack of knowledge (“I grew up on junk food / I hate vegetables / I don’t have time to cook!”) or escapism (“I know this pizza/bottle of wine/cigarette is bad for me but I just really need it after the day I’ve had!”). But the results are always the same. We’re repeating toxic habits that ultimately harm rather than help us lead our best lives. It really does take a moment of courage, and some sustained conviction, to carry on any kind of cleanse, but the rewards are so worth it. Detoxing is a bold decision, but once you make it, you stand at a place where you can determine and create the future you desire. In fact, if you don’t make the commitment to detoxing, odds are you’re going to be stuck with more of the same situations and keep confronting the same problems until you do.
MT: It is amazing to me how many people don’t understand where they are financially. I’ll admit that when I was younger I adopted the behavior of pretending it wasn’t a problem. Why do you think so many people don’t have control over their own financial situation?
EV: As I share every time I teach, for way too many years I ignored financial problems as best I could usually by simply hoping against hope that they would miraculously solve themselves. Or, as one of my favorite teachers says, I tried putting a smiley face sticker over an empty gas tank! Why do people do this? Why did I do this? I’ve observed that a major reason is an unwillingness to feel the emotion associated with financial problems, whether that’s fear or guilt or shame. Denial is a powerful mechanism that strives to protect us in the short term but ultimately harms us long-term. Unfortunately, the things we’re most afraid to look at end up controlling our lives; sometimes that’s financial chaos, unexamined problems in relationships, or health issues. Often the problem is that we feel so much shame around our financial situation that it’s nearly impossible to examine it without diving into this doubly painful sea of feelings. What I mean is that we’re disturbed by the practical realities of the problem, and we blame ourselves, or others, for the situation. This leads us to be increasingly adrift in feelings of guilt and anger and even powerlessness. I’ve found this to be particularly true of people who are spiritually inclined because, however you phrase it, if we take responsibility for “creating our reality,” it’s even more unsettling to think that this is somehow the reality we’ve created. Said simply, not only do we have to deal with the problem, we also have to deal with the fact that we created the problem in the first place.
To make matters even worse, sometimes when you share a financial challenge with a hard-core spiritual seeker, they say, with whatever degree of good intentions, “You’ve really got to clean up your vibration around money.” That “helpful advice” can feel like being kicked when you’re already down. In other words, what they’re saying to you is that not only do you have to scramble to find a way to pay an unexpected bill, but you also have got to clean up your “filthy vibration” too. Yikes! That’s why I always have each practical financial awareness task begin from, and always return to, a place of self-acceptance and compassion. I don’t believe in shaming or making anyone feel guilty ever. Instead, I invite people to move forward with greater ease and grace, no matter how tangled things might have gotten. I always want to remind students that we can transform almost anything if we allow ourselves the same compassion and acceptance we’d offer anyone we truly loved. Our financial lives are just another important way we can practice experiencing that kind of self-care.
MT: I found this course to be very well-rounded, and it touched upon everything the average person would need to know in order to clean up their finances. Did this come from personal experience?
EV: Thank you! Yes, it came from personal experience and also the experience of guiding thousands of other people in this work. The saying is true: We teach what we most need to learn. When I was developing this course, I was able to access all the experiences I’ve had in these areas and those that I knew were in my future. For too many years, rather than taking control of my money situation, I treated my financial life as if I was at one endless casino, hoping against hope that somehow my luck would change and I’d hit the jackpot. But the first steps in taking stock and “getting real” with my numbers involved inviting in self-acceptance and keeping compassion for myself alive as I kept working to understand and ultimately transform my situation. That experiential foundation is the place from which I teach everything.
MT: In lessons one and two you have people create a financial snapshot and take a money quiz. Why is this so important?
EV: The quizzes and the financial snapshot at the beginning of the course are given so that one can take an inventory and have a clear picture of where one is. I’ve deliberately created them so as to eliminate or at least minimize any negative feelings or judgments during this all-important process. For almost every single person in our society, money plays a big role in countless ways. Yet for so many of us, myself included, we can be clueless, making moment-to-moment choices rather than having a fully aware, strategic plan in place that will positively serve us. Knowing where one is financially is an absolutely vital starting point, but so many do not, even those willing to pursue dreams of great wealth. I once coached a client who had no trouble envisioning his multimillionaire lifestyle, but didn’t have a clue how much he spent each month. You must know the point you’re starting from with real clarity. Otherwise you end up getting totally lost or going nowhere at all. Finally, it’s worth noting again that I designed all these quizzes so that they don’t make you feel bad or guilty for wherever you are in your journey and for anything you didn’t know before taking them. Instead, I’m celebrating that you’re on the road to greater clarity, and this is a necessary and vital first step on that path.
MT: Briefly touch upon all of the points you teach in your course.
EV: I always try to blend the practical and the spiritual, the magical and the material, and this course is no exception. I take people through a complete inventory of their financial lives, but in baby steps so as not to overwhelm. My mission is to help you clear out all the cobwebs so you can gain perspective. At the same time, my goal is to have you really understand the emotional and spiritual issues that lie behind the numbers on your financial spreadsheet. And please don’t worry–there are no scary spreadsheets in this course unless you’re inspired to create one! My ultimate desire is that you come out of the course with a clear understanding of how money works in your life and the tools to change what’s not working. I want you to create a sustainable future for yourself. It’s also important to me that no one gets needlessly overwhelmed during this process. That’s why I’ve included lots of awareness exercises as well as guided meditations. Toward the end of the course there’s even a holistic net worth statement where you capture the numbers on the page in a way that would please any accountant, and at the same time appreciate the powerful inner emotional strengths and life experiences you’ve accumulated as well.
MT: Your course is very motivating. What advice do you give people to keep up their financial detox once they have mended their situation?
EV: One of the key things I always teach is that financial awareness is about continually being in the flow. It’s never about “getting it done.” Rather, like keeping our homes clean, it’s a lifelong set of tasks, challenges big and small, and frequent unexpected invitations to expand and grow.
In other words, even though you may have mended your current problems, it’s not like you can retire from the responsibilities of money in your life. It’s definitely not like getting a college degree that you can hang on the wall and have forever, boasting “Congratulate Me–I’m Financially Aware!” It’s about having an ongoing practice rather than reaching some specific but elusive money milestone. When I was right out of college, I believed that once I had found success from my writing, I’d be set for life. Like so many people, I thought that if I just had enough money, I wouldn’t have to think about it anymore. Experience taught me otherwise, and now I know that a more apt metaphor might be viewing your financial life as maintaining a garden, one that will offer you ongoing nourishment and delight provided you do your part in tending it.
Learn more HERE.
