The morning was devoted to getting the driver’s side mirror fixed.
It is like the best/simplest metaphor for clarity. (I also like that the way Raymond the mechanic wrapped the window; it looks like it’s just had a face lift).
I found my Alignment thrown off by good news in a way that really confused me, but has resulted in MAJOR (dare I say BREAKTHROUGH?) clarity.
Everything is so in flux and evolving in SF right now and my income has been particularly erratic.
Overall, I’ve maintained — mostly — an admirable serenity about things. (Well, sort of …)
What startled me though is that when something really great happened — a super-generous and significant influx of cash — I found my mood going down, rather than up.
When Belle woke me up at 4 am and I checked my bank balances at 6, my mood somehow shifted back to worry as I was lying in bed, contemplating my increased wealth, rather than lingering in appreciation.
Yes — when I first learned about the unexpected financial good news last week, I was unbelievably relieved and happy. The announcement of it brought feelings of tremendous ease and flow, a reassurance that All Was Well. I was elated, in fact — for about five minutes.
When the money actually arrived, I realized I VERY quickly went into accountant mode — make that BITTER accountant mode: utterly unappreciative, worrisome and fearful — as I rationally began allocating exactly where it should be most wisely distributed.
This, however, was not only JOY(less) it was also vibrating LACK, which is a fascinating and not so great vibration to have when you received a wonderful mini-windfall.
Yes — this is classic “glass half-empty” thinking, but I wasn’t aware of the specifics of how getting what I want quickly morphs into lack and actually spirals the energy downward. Now I understand completely exactly where I need to adjust my focus and perspective in this kind of situation.
I honestly feel this is a MAJOR breakthrough for me, since I certainly do not want to be an ungrateful, unappreciative Veruca Salt when the Universe is doing such a fantastic job of pouring down blessings on me (and Belle, of course.)
Bolstered by this awareness, I shifted the attitude and celebrated by getting an AWESOME new wallet from ACRE, one that I think is saying all the right things about my Adjusted Attitudes towards Abundance and Prosperity.
I loved my hipster wallet a lot — it is a MIGHTY WALLET, indeed — but felt that it wasn’t telling the financial story at the level of bestselling author that I wanted. (Note: this is not the new wallet, but I do like it’s Rubenesque qualities.)
Later, taught my Lotus Class, did some visualizations on the phone with Dan, skyped the web guy in India who’s customizing our facebook fanpage, watched HORRIBLE BOSSES, and then got to bed early enough so that I would be fresh for today’s Millionaire Matchmaker finale.
(First things, first after all — especially on the day when I’ve acquired a literal and mental, Mightier Wallet).
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